Who was the fool?
- May 2005
This Opinion was featured in the May 2005 issue of the the Anglia Farmer
David Walker turns detective as he scrutinizes a regional daily for April Fool news articles.
For a change I was aware of the date and its significance before I reviewed the news of the day. Detecting possible false news story was, of course, a task well suited to a cynic such as I. And three news stories were soon selected from the regional daily as front runners.
All were bird stories, a clue in itself. Surely, even the RSPB does not have the resources and influence to muster three different news worthy stories in a single day. And besides birds have such unlikely names that almost any thing else about them might sound feasible.
The first candidate headline certainly had such a character. The rare bird in "£14m on nesting sites for rare bird" was the black-tailed godwit. The story would have us believe just five pairs are nesting in the rather extensive Ouse Washes, down from 65 pairs in the early Seventies. Quick reference to "Birds of Britain and Europe" revealed that there is indeed such a bird but that it is not particularly rare, with vast numbers being trans-Sarahan migrants.
The story, however, did not suggest the godwit was rare but merely rare in the Ouse Washes. So the question of credibility is whether the government would spend £14,000,000 creating moderate flood conditions for nesting, wet but not too wet, so that we can continue to claim that the Ouse Washes as a sometime home for the black-tailed godwit.
The second story featured an old favourite, "Penalty call as buzzard is shot dead." Did not the government announce plans last autumn for importing a couple of dozen great bastard chicks a year from Russia. They were to be released on Salisbury Plain and as it is, reputedly, the heaviest flying bird, it could have been an unintended target during some military training exercise.
But the army is in Iraq, the shooting was in Norfolk and it was a Buzzard and not a Great Bustard. But the story still has an unreal ring to it. In one place it related the dead bird was found in a village and in another "by a walker [no relative] on Saturday between Little Snoring and Great Snoring." Sounds like a sleeper, besides which the story relates there are about 20 pairs in the whole of the county. Simple arithmetic suggests that should be nineteen and a half.
The third headline "Drive to halt farmland birds' decline" seemed a bit unlikely even before delving into the subject matter. Most farmland drives are designed specifically to create a decline in bird numbers, normally pheasant and partridge.
But in this story the species whose decline is to be halted are buntings and sparrows. And the story was from Suffolk, so the Norfolk buzzards are not to blame. Sparrows are surely very common. And, while to a cat there are only two types - the last meal and the next, "Birds of Britain and Europe" lists no fewer than 10 types. This reference also suggests that the tree sparrow is found only where the more aggressive urban house sparrow is not. Sounds a bit like humans, except rural folk do not qualify as a different species yet.
The farmer is, however, seen as the real threat here and has prompted the marshalling of the combined resources of Suffolk Wildlife Trust, the Suffolk Farming and Wildlife Advisory Group, English Nature and the Suffolk Ornithologists' Group. Perhaps they can help with Darfur when they have finished with the farmers.
Post script: The regional daily was not aware of any unauthentic news items on April 1.
May 2005
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